How to deal with a family member who doesn't accept gifts gracefully? My sister in law has a habit of leaving my gifts for her at her mother’s home, where we meet annually due to the distance we all have to travel.
This happened two years in a row. Both times she thanked me profusely for the gifts. The first year she made a point of telling me that she was leaving the jewelry at her mother’s so she would have something to wear on her next trip there. I found this a little odd because is it really difficult to pack a small pair of earrings and take them with you? But I didn’t think too much of it…
The next year I brought a small decorative tray which I bought from a very expensive store. I picked it out lovingly and with her in mind. My thinking was that a serving tray would be a good gift because, while decorative, is not clutter as it serves a purpose (I know she entertains) and can be stored away when not in use. With this in mind I brought this tray all the way from the distant continent where I live.
I see that she has also left this gift on the shelf in her old room at the family home. In other words, she didn’t take it with her either. Nor did she offer any explanation such as not being able to fit it into her suitcase (which I don't believe would be the case as it was not very large). I’m a little bit hurt that it seems like my gifts somehow do not meet muster and/or aren’t worth the trouble of taking back with her.
What is up with this behavior? I understand that each person has their own taste, but wouldn’t it be customary to at least TAKE a gift with you and then regift it (or hide it away) if it really isn’t your style?
How would you read her response to these gifts and what is the best approach to take in my position? Should I say anything? This hasn't put me in the gift-buying mood.
This happened two years in a row. Both times she thanked me profusely for the gifts. The first year she made a point of telling me that she was leaving the jewelry at her mother’s so she would have something to wear on her next trip there. I found this a little odd because is it really difficult to pack a small pair of earrings and take them with you? But I didn’t think too much of it…
The next year I brought a small decorative tray which I bought from a very expensive store. I picked it out lovingly and with her in mind. My thinking was that a serving tray would be a good gift because, while decorative, is not clutter as it serves a purpose (I know she entertains) and can be stored away when not in use. With this in mind I brought this tray all the way from the distant continent where I live.
I see that she has also left this gift on the shelf in her old room at the family home. In other words, she didn’t take it with her either. Nor did she offer any explanation such as not being able to fit it into her suitcase (which I don't believe would be the case as it was not very large). I’m a little bit hurt that it seems like my gifts somehow do not meet muster and/or aren’t worth the trouble of taking back with her.
What is up with this behavior? I understand that each person has their own taste, but wouldn’t it be customary to at least TAKE a gift with you and then regift it (or hide it away) if it really isn’t your style?
How would you read her response to these gifts and what is the best approach to take in my position? Should I say anything? This hasn't put me in the gift-buying mood.
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