Years ago a co-worker related a narrative to me that I think she said she had heard on the radio, told by a man about his wife's efforts to host a Martha Stewart Christmas for their family. I've always wanted to track it down and find out how it ended. Can you help identify it? My co-worker would have told me this story in the late nineties, so it would definitely be dated pre-2000. I think she said she heard on the radio, and that she might have said it was on the CBC, but I don't have any more information regarding the source or author or date.
I do, however, remember the story very clearly, and here it is so far as she related it to me:
One year this man's wife received a Martha Stewart Christmas book for Christmas, and she became fired up with the ambition to host an elaborate and perfect Martha Stewart-style Christmas for their entire family the next year. She began working on this project of hers in January, and worked on it intensively for the entire year. She had a number of friends who decided they wanted to have a Martha Stewart Christmas too, and they would all get together once a month to make some sort of craft or recipe for their Christmas celebrations.
One evening in October or November of that year, the man suggested to his wife that perhaps she was getting carried away with her preparations for what was, after all, going to be just one day. His wife became very upset with him and said, "Do you know what I am? I'm a train! And I'm running full speed! AND I'M NOT GOING TO STOP UNTIL I PULL INTO CHRISTMAS STATION!" The husband decided he should probably not get in the way of this train, so he asked her if there was anything he could to help her. His wife said, "You can do the turkey." He promptly agreed that yes, he would be responsible for the turkey.
On Christmas Eve, everything was in readiness, the house was decorated to the nines, the pantry was stuffed full of Christmas goodies, his wife had just gone around the house and spritzed the candle arrangements with a handmixed apple cinnamon scent, and the two of them were getting ready for bed, when she asked him if he'd remembered to take the turkey out of the freezer to thaw. That's when it occurred to the husband for the first time that, when his wife had asked him to do the turkey, she had meant he would be responsible for buying the turkey, and that consequently, it was 11 p.m. on Christmas Eve and there was no turkey for his wife's Martha Stewart Christmas that she had spent an entire year preparing for.
My co-worker said there was more to this story, but she didn't relate the rest of it, and I've always wanted to know what happened (i.e., did the husband, say, find himself on a platter with an apple in his mouth on Christmas Day?).
Does this story sound familiar to anyone?